A new month, a new topic and oh boy, have I got a topic for you guys. Let’s talk about the booty this month, because we have entered #AnalAugust (pun absolutely intended). This month we will be looking into anal sex, which may be something you have never tried. Or maybe you did, but it really wasn’t a success. Or maybe you do it all the time and are just checking out the article to possibly learn something new. More power to all of you!
What’s anal sex?
Basically, any moment that there is anal penetration by something else, i.e. a finger, a penis, a vibrator, we are talking about anal sex. But because I am me, I of course want to make this definition a bit broader. Let’s look at all the fun things we can do with the anus, such as licking it (yes, you can). In a 2017 study published in the U.S. National Library of Medicine 36% of women and 44% of men in the ages 25 and 44 years old have engaged at least once in heterosexual anal activity.
Some people are big fans of anal sex, some absolutely hate it. Here’s the thing: as with everything when it comes to sex, it is a personal choice! So this blog post isn’t to change your mind if it isn’t for you. It’s just here as a reference point, something that you can learn from. I want to take anything sexual out of the taboo idea we might have of it, and anal has been around for centuries. Yes, my dears, the Babylonians and Grecians had some serious sexual fun (we could learn a thing or two). The taboo showed up in the form of the church. Not saying religion is bad, but for our sexual lives there is ample proof that religion really made us categorize sex as good or bad.
Lube it up
One of the main concerns I hear about anal sex is pain or the fear of pain (when people have been able to get over the taboo of there being 12 states in America where anal sex is illegal). Anal sex just like any type of sex we can have, can be painful if 1. you are not relaxed enough and 2. you do not use our friend, lube. Y’all might think I’m a broken record when I say this, but lube, lube, LUBE. It’s your best friend. As you might remember from the posts on toys, our anus does not have it’s own lubrication. This means, unlike the vagina, getting hot and bothered will not make your anus more accessible. So you maybe more horny than ever, but you will still need to lube in this anal equation.
Also, stay away from oil-based please if you need protection from a condom or silicone-based if you are gonna be using a silicone toy. It can lead to damage of the toy or the condom. If you don’t need protection or aren’t using a toy, then go ahead and enjoy the oil ones or the silicone (or hybrids), because the wetter, 100% the better.
And now for the anal part, please
I know, I know, you guys wanna get to the good stuff. So, what can we do with those butts? First of all, as you might have understood from what I’ve explained, anal sex isn’t as spontaneous as your other forms of sex. Why? Because you need to prep the anus (imagine just having eaten things that have upset your stomach, pizza, I’m looking at you), work on relaxing and then lube up. So, first off, make sure you are clean. Butt stuff can lead to some messiness, but it’s easy to clean this up beforehand. Wash well between your cheeks and your anus itself. This doesn’t mean that after insertion there may not be a minimal amount of fecal matter, but for that we put baby wipes next to the bed. Also, you might be a full-on hair person, but having a waxed butthole makes anal sex more pleasurable for you and your partner. Especially with the lube, it just helps if everything is perfectly smooth.
Start off with practicing, as in use fingers, start rimming i.e. licking the anus (use protection please), use anal beads or small toys. Massage the area around the anus, and making sure your body is fired up. If you are aroused it is much easier to relax. My single ladies, you can excel here. Buy some toys and play by yourself. A vibrator in your vagina and a buttplug up your anus is a different kind of heaven. Try it out (fine, you non-singles can also play around with this).
And it goes up the butt?
Whatever you plan to insert, lube it up. Lube up the anus itself AND lube up the toy, penis, finger etc. Remember that the anus is UNFORGIVING, so if you go in dry, you will end up with microtears which can get infected due to the bacteria in fecal matter. Don’t do it, ladies, just don’t. Add an extra dollop, just for me. Start off slow, because it’s the start that is generally a bit sensitive. Let the anus adjust (and it will). Anal sex will definitely get better if you give yourself a chance to feel relaxed. Now, women do not have a prostrate and thus the experience is different for us, but when you use your clit, your vagina etc., anal sex can definitely lead to an orgasm. But it doesn’t have to be your holy grail.
What’s with the farting?
So, as said: anal sex can get a bit messy. Sticking something up your anus and pumping can lead to queefing. No, that is not the same as farting. It’s just the air escaping from your anus, The air you pumped in. And… this can go on for hours after. Also, don’t be surprised by the feeling of having to go to the bathroom. Something was up your anus and this stimulates these feelings. After anal sex, always go to the bathroom. This is also to avoid hygiene issues, UTI’s, etc. Scary news? If you have a cis-male partner, he might cum in you and the sperm can leak downwards and you can get pregnant. So, you know, just be safe out here if you aren’t trying to get pregnant.
That’s all for this month, folks. Go ahead and try it all out. Please let me know if you have any questions about the topic. You can email me or fill in the contact form.
