February, the shortest month of the year. The weird month that changes how many days it contains every four years. Black History Month in the States. The second month of a fresh new year. The month that normally (non-COVID) would mean carnival celebration for a lot of Caribbean islands. And of course the month that a lot of couples celebrate Valentine’s Day a.k.a. the day of love. I’d like to add another signifier to February, and in this case I’d say: let’s make it Foreplay February!
OMG. Where did she get this idea from?! Well, I’m crazy about catchy hashtags #HashtagQueen, and #ForeplayFebruary makes SUCH a nice one. But more seriously, I believe that a step we skip all too often is foreplay. Let’s talk about what we mean with foreplay: according to a quick Google dictionary search it is a noun that signifies “sexual activity that precedes intercourse”.
I already have a problem with this definition. In the way this is stated, it would seem that it is 1. something that always happens before sexual intercourse and 2. it is something that we should just tick the box off and we are done. Now, we all know that’s not how any of it works (or at least, I hope we all know).
Foreplay to me is much broader than this small definition. It is ALL the acts you do leading up to starting to be sexually intimate with your partner. What do I mean with this? I can’t come home, argue heavily with my partner without resolving it, and then expect sex straight after (yes, I do see you, my rage sexy people, but that’s a whole different ballgame). So if I want some sexy time, I am going to have to work for it. It begins already in how I communicate and interact, making sure that we have a good and comfortable time together. I have to make sure to set the right mood if I wanna get a bit wild later.
And only then do I begin the game of actual sexual seduction, which means being physically close to my partner, kissing, touching, cuddling and everything else we both enjoy/need to get us in the mood. Just like you don’t cold call a business you’d like to work with if you don’t have someone specific to contact, you cannot cold sex your partner. This month I’ll focus on this pleasurable game of seduction, to make sure we are all doing our best out there!
