It is time to elevate our talks to the next level of solo play: the use of toys. Of course I first want to know how your week of manual self love has been treating you. Is it something you are used to, did you learn something new? This week as I’ve said we are moving on to toys, for when your hand and fingers got tired 🙂
Toys in media
I am about to show off a bit of my age. Do you guys remember Sex and The City? The show was about four women who were best friends. They talked about dating, relationships and sex in a frank manner that hadn’t been televised before. One of the things they did A LOT was talk about toys and even showed off toys. In the early 90’s less than 10% of the women between 21 and 29 years old said they masturbated at all. Whereas a study in 2018 showed that 21% of this age group now says they masturbate weekly. Quite possibly, the popularity of the show indicates that this change may have had something to do with them.
Why toys?
There is a lot of speculation over why sex toys exists, mainly when it comes to the vibrator. From Brenda Love saying that Cleopatra used a homemade vibrator filled with bees (listen, I’m all the way scared. luckily it’s a myth) to the movie “Hysteria” proposing the hypothesis that vibrators were build to treat women with hysteria. The idea in 6th century BC was that the uterus – in Greek ‘hysterika’ – moved around freely in women and caused havoc to their emotional states and bodily functions. The actual discovery is uncertain. What is known is that the vibrator was advertised in the 1900s as a cure all for men AND women, for example curing male impotence.
Sex toys now
Nowadays sex toys are much more mainstream, but at the same time the use of sex toys for female pleasure is still something you get shamed for or is only joked about as something that desperate women do. Remember that the clitoris is the only female body part designed for solely pleasure, then you can imagine that sex toys are really our prerogative. In another blog I’ll go way more into depth about sex toys, but for now, let’s focus on the masturbation part of them!
Types of toys
Sex toys bring in a level of stimulation our hands are just not able to recreate. I am going to highlight some types here, but only the ones geared specifically to women and for solo play. We have the vibrator, which is a toy that vibrates. Some are meant for inside the body and some only for outside. We have dildos, which are toys without vibration, mainly used as an insertion device (and the inserting can be anywhere, vaginally, anally, orally). Then we have anal toys, which you guessed it, go into the anus. These always need lube, and are specifically made with a flared base (so you don’t end up losing a toy in your anus). Lastly, we have the balls (also called vagina balls, kegel balls, Ben Wa balls). These are to be inserted (always two) and they are mostly weighted which means you have to have strength in the vagina to hold them in. They are great for Kegel exercises, but a lot of women wear them because they feel good (the balls jiggle against each other, which can be a pleasant feeling).
Okay, but what do I do with a toy?
Play, my love, that’s what you do, play! Try one of these toys out the aforementioned list this week and figure out what you do and do not like. As said, the stimulation is quite different from what you can do manually (when talking about the vibrating kinds) and it’ll be fun to experiment with this for yourself. Also, try multiple things out. Maybe a vibrating toy for your clitoris and a dildo for your vagina AND anal beads. Have fun with it. Keep me posted on your success!
